the end of 2021 and what a year it has been. If I had to pick a few words to describe it, I would say hard, fun, growth, change, love, and forgiveness. I know, that’s a lot of words.
In 2021 I faced many of my own truths. I gave up things and people that were important to me but not allowing me to grow and evolve in the ways I was searching for. I got divorced, I fell in love, I changed my job focus more than once, I took a break from school and then returned. I selfishly made decisions that benefited my own happiness more than the happiness of others. I left my house and many of my ‘things’ behind. I stopped posting podcasts to our website, and stopped coaching nutrition clients. I moved away from a marriage that was okay, but not everything I wanted or hoped it would be. Yes, all of that was hard. But it led to growth.
In letting go of many things I thought were essential I was able to realize they were only essential if my plan was to remain the same. And maybe, at some point I did believe this was what I wanted. I had a routine and habits that kept me going, and disrupting that was scary. For example, since this is a health and nutrition blog, had I continued to log my food forever I would have never learned how to eat intuitively and this was something I wanted to do but didn’t think I was capable of. I set goals for myself to run further, and that included rehabbing through an injury to complete a 50K (not writing it off). And when it came to relationships, I wanted to feel a deep and meaningful love and remove myself from the monotony of the day-to-day comforts. In doing this I had no idea how much the guilt would eat at me. And so I started counseling and continue to grow through therapy. Growth took place in 2021 and will continue. Though growth can be hard, it can also be fun.
I had so much fun in 2021 despite all the challenges. I ran on the trails more days per week than I ever have, spending 3-4 days a week on the mountain running. I went backpacking a handful of times, summiting both Strawberry Mountain and Eagle Cap. We traveled to Disneyland, Las Vegas, Mexico, Leavenworth, Wallowa Lake, Coeur d'Alene and many other places close by. In blending two families together, we spent a lot of time around the table playing board games and laughing with each other. For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to be goofy and I can say with certainty that I have laughed more this year than ever before. This was a change for me.
My bedroom changed locations 4 times this year. That’s more moving of bedrooms than in the last 30 years. Changing jobs after 12 years of self employment was also challenging for me. Changing homes and my home gym was extremely difficult for me. There was a change to my morning routine, my meals changed, and what I ordered when I went out to eat changed. There’s very little that didn’t change for me in 2021. There were people in my life that didn’t change, but my emotions towards them did change. My love grew deeper for many of the friends and family around me that showed me unconditional support. And with that, my love changed for others.
In 2021 I learned how much love I am capable of giving and sharing. I once thought that we only had so much love to give, or that we could only love one person. Now I know that there is so much love to give, and each person will be loved differently, individually. I have learned that part of love is the ability to display forgiveness.
I write forgiveness, but I mean forgiveness towards myself. Nobody hurt me in 2021. But many times I felt that I hurt myself. There were moments where I didn’t treat myself with the gentleness I deserved or desired. This year I learned that I have to work on how I speak to myself, but also to give myself a break, cut myself some slack, allow myself to feel however I feel without judgment.
I am bummed that this year I won’t be delivering you a podcast where Angie, Kelcey, and I share with you our goals for the New Year, and review our goals from 2021. Instead, you’re having to read my account of it. Aside from what I wrote above, in 2021 I completed the fewest of my New Years goals, EVER. Once I would have considered this a failure, a disappointment. My perspective has changed and I can see that many of my goals didn’t have a strong enough priority to make it through the challenges that I did face this past year. A recap of my 2021 goals (which can be listened to here):
I failed to call my mom once a week (sorry mom!!)
I failed to always answer the phone when my grandparents called (Ugh)
We did reach 100 podcast episodes, 101 actually and then it took a long, likely permanent break.
I didn’t celebrate 10 years of marriage, or go on that monthly date night…
I didn’t send as many cards as planned, but did send many!
I didn’t graduate from college, but again, I plan to this June.
I read 26 books!! My goal was 12 :) See below!
I didn’t exactly keep up my walking streak, but I did run more miles this year than ever before!
I got much better about not eating off other people’s plates. I would say success.
I mostly continued to eat 2 servings of fruit a day, this goal will continue into 2022.
Kelcey and I didn’t go on an overnight backpacking trip, however SHE did and that was what I wanted :)
I didn’t set a new deadlift PR.. priorities!
I didn’t continue to try and meditate…
My daily stretching routine was worse than ever!!
Walk to work once a week, let's just say I have a very short walk now and so this is a success.
My biggest success: I ran 30 miles before my 31st birthday! (I actually ran 31.15 miles)
Here are my books read in 2021:
Books Read in 2021
Green Light by Matthew Mchanahy
Lakota Woman by Mary Crow Dog
No Cure for Being Human by Kate Bowler
Maid by Stephanie Land
Woman by Chloe Caldwell
I’ll Tell You in Person by Chloe Caldwell
Be My Reason by Stephanie Christy
Purple Orchids by Stephanie Christy
Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
Apples Never Fall Far by Liane Moriarty
White Lilies by Samantha Christy
Black Roses by Samantha Christy
Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris
Running/Health (Also nonfiction)
The Sports Gene by David Epstein
Broken Open by David Clark
Out and Back by Hillary Allen
Out There by David Clark
A Runner’s High by Dean Karnazes
Ultramarathon Man by Dean Karnazes
Run! By Dean Karnazes
The Long Run by Matthew Long
Reborn on the Run by Catra Corbett
Running on Empty by Marshall Ulrich
Nowhere Near First by Cory Reese
So what is on the personal goal list for 2022?
Eat 2 different fruits per day
Eat 3 different vegetables per day
Fill up my hydro flask 2 times per day
Run (another) 50K
GRADUATE from college
Go on a week-ish backpacking trip with Sam this summer/fall
Take the kids on a spring break vacation
Resume my yoga habits (including attending a class 1x per week to get started until I find the discipline to do it on my own again)
My goals are pretty simple, but that's okay. I want them to be achievable and not restrictive, things that will make me feel full and healthy!
I have professional goals as well, but I won’t add those here :)