Three Days Until UTMB

Three days until UTMB.

I'm scared.

I'm scared of the weather—of being cold. I'm scared of facing those climbs at mile 90. The DNF that started my year still lingers in the back of my mind, whispering, How do you keep that from happening again? Do you want this badly enough?

The answer is yes.

I want to finish UTMB. I want to feel like I belong here.

It's easy to look around and feel insecure. Everyone looks incredibly fit. Everyone looks strong. It's hard not to wonder if I'm out of place. But maybe that little bit of doubt is exactly what motivates me to keep going.

This is the first race I've run in a long time where I don't feel competitive. The last race I entered, I won. The one before that, I finished fifth in a large field. But this race? Not one ounce of me cares where I place.

This is the Super Bowl of ultrarunning. The best runners in the world are here. For me, this race isn't about competing against them. It's me against the course.

I want to prove to myself that I can finish.

I want to show my coach I can finish.

My family.

My friends.

Even my road-running friends who probably look at my pace and wonder, Why is she moving so slow?

When I first learned about UTMB, I thought, There's no way.

The distance. The mountains. The travel. The logistics of even getting into the race. The cost.

It all felt completely out of reach.

But Sam has always had a way of making impossible things seem possible.

His response was simple: Why not?

The moment I started believing I could run UTMB, he took on the logistics of getting us here. Together we mapped out a plan to earn enough Running Stones to qualify. I had five races on the calendar in 2025 to make UTMB 2026 happen.

Of course, it didn't go according to plan.

We found out two of those races wouldn't actually earn Running Stones—they would only improve my UTMB Index, which wasn't important to me. Then I got sick and had to miss the first qualifying race. The next race was canceled because of wildfires. At the final opportunity—Kodiak—I struggled the second half of the race. I wanted to quit more than once. I ensured Sam I didn't want to go to UTMB anymore. If this was hard, how would I make it through UTMB?

Thankfully, my crew wouldn't let me.

After I finished came the surprise email telling me I could bypass the lottery because of my age-group placement.

Getting to this starting line has been anything but straightforward.

And somehow, I have a feeling the journey around Mont Blanc is going to be even more unforgettable.