How I Improved My Relationship With Food

When I was struggling, food took up so much space in my thoughts and so much time in my conversations.

I don’t talk about my relationship with food nearly as much as I did five or six years ago. The biggest reason for that is simple: it’s better. When I was struggling, food took up so much space in my thoughts and so much time in my conversations. I was coaching others through their own nutrition challenges while still fighting my own. And the truth is, the more I focused on food, the more power it held over me.

One of the most impactful steps I took toward healing was stepping away from coaching clients and reviewing food logs all day. When you spend hours analyzing other people’s eating habits, it becomes almost impossible to turn off that constant evaluation in your own life. I had to separate my journey from theirs and trust that we didn’t have the same needs or goals. I had to give myself space to grow without measuring every bite.

When I think about my 24-year-old or even 28-year-old self and what I would say to her now, it wouldn’t be the advice she wanted to hear. I would tell her she was looking for validation in all the wrong places. That she wasn’t confused about why her weight was fluctuating; she was using food to soothe anxiety. That she needed to work on herself before food could ever feel neutral. That her relationship with food wasn’t the root problem—it was a symptom.

People say that improving your relationship with food happens when you improve your relationship with yourself. But they never tell you how. They skip the uncomfortable, messy parts that don’t fit neatly inside a macro tracking app.

For me, the shift started when I began building a life that felt like mine.

The first step toward that life was getting divorced. It was painful, complicated, and the best thing I could have done for my happiness. You can go back and read this blog post if you want to dive deeper.

The next chapter was adjusting to my new home, my new support system, and my new reality. That process wasn’t linear or polished. I gained weight. I navigated stress. I learned a lot about what comfort really means. I shared more of that journey here.

And then I started running—really running. Ultra distances. Big goals. Big joy. It gave me purpose and something to grow toward. It taught me what resilience felt like in my body, not just in my mind. When my energy shifted toward something I deeply loved, food finally became what it always should have been: fuel.

Nourishment. Support. Not a measurement of my worth or a solution to my anxiety.

Improving my relationship with food wasn’t about eating “perfectly.” It wasn’t about a new diet or a rule or a tracking method. It was about building a life I didn’t need to escape from. A life with meaning, self-respect, and excitement for what comes next.

If you’re on a similar journey, here’s a journal prompt to help you explore your own path:

What would my relationship with food look like if my happiness didn’t depend on it anymore?

What needs or emotions would I give attention to instead?

What is one step I could take today to build a life I feel more at home in?

You deserve a relationship with food that feels calm and confident. That begins when you choose a life where food no longer has to carry the weight of your happiness.